These Feelings
by ayekay47
Summary: A short story describing Tyler's emotions as he begins to change and isn't sure what's happening to him. One-shot for now, unless you tell me to continue. Review please.


These feelings- I can't begin to describe them. Even _I _don't know what's happening to me. I can feel everything changing- both physically and mentally, but I can't fix it. I can't stop the burning inside my body, nothing I do makes it go away. Every one of my senses, stronger than before. I can't even think of what's wrong with me, and that, that's the first thing to have ever put fear into my body.

This is all new. And it just started happening- ever since I heard that ear splitting noise during Founder's Day. Even till this day, I still haven't figured out what was causing the pain throughout my body. Everyone I've seemed to ask doesn't know what I'm talking about. They said there was no noise, that I must have had a little too much to drink. So I let it drop- I didn't want people thinking I was crazy. But I know, _I know there was a noise that night_.

I tried opening up to my mother, but even she won't listen. She told me to never bring the subject up to anyone again, no matter how much pain I was in. In other words, she wants me to block out something I have no experience with. It's not that easy though. She doesn't know what it feels like to have a sudden rush of pain flourish throughout your body, sending you to the floor immediantly. She doesn't know how it feels to wake up in the morning to blood flowing freely from both of your ears.

The first time it ever happened, I freaked. Normally, blood means you lose your hearing or something's wrong with your body. But not mine. I wiped away the blood, expecting the worse, but everything was normal. I could hear. I could hear _better_ than ever before. I sat in my room and was able to hear my next door neighbor's conversation with her daughter. But, I listened to my mother's orders and blocked it out.

The second time was different than the first. That Jeremy kid had angered me, more than I've ever been in my life. I literally jumped on top of him and pushed him to the ground. I _wanted_ to _kill_ him. I wanted to rip apart his flesh, piece by piece, until he was nothing more than a pile of bones. I'm not a killer, I'm not a murderer. But that night, if Matt hadn't stopped me, I would have became one.

I noticed the third time after a few weeks of it happening. I was growing, faster than I've ever grown before. I've always been a big guy my entire life, but this, this was different. My hands were the size of two grown men's. I stretched until I reached the height of 6"7'. I started working out everyday and each day my maximum weight limit would increase by twenty pounds. Soon, I became the biggest guy in school- the biggest guy in Mystic Falls.

Like I said before, things are happening that I can't explain. I feel a fire throughout my soul and I _can't_ stop it. It's burning away at me; burning my soul to pieces. And the entire time, I can feel it happening, but I can't figure out exactly what _it _is. I know something bads going to happen soon. The omen is in the air, literally.

Every morning when I wake up, there's this extremely large crow, watching me, waiting for me. The crow, it isn't harmful though. There's hints of amusement behind its motions, almost like it's just as confused as me. And for the few seconds we make eye contact, I feel like that crow knows what it's like to have something happening to you but not know what it is.

I clutch my head as I feel the ear splitting noise again. It's always there, torturing me as if I've done something wrong recently. What did I do to deserve this? I kept to myself, I tried to avoid getting in trouble. I was the perfect son. With being the mayor's son, I had to create the perfect image, or else my father would look bad. I think he knew something was happening to me, as well.

Before his death, something was up. He didn't want me in Mystic Falls, but I refused to listen to him. He knew something was happening that night- he had to know about that noise. He would know why that pain happened to me. But sadly, my father isn't here. I guess that's why my mother isn't to fond on me bringing up the topic. I think the same thing that happened to me, happened to my father. And she doesn't want to see her son struggle.

But I can't go on hiding this for much longer. The erge is there, the need is strong, and as much as I fight it, I can't control it. I _want _to kill anyone and everyone who has ever stood in my way. And I know I could. I know I would be able to hurt them to where you wouldn't even be able to tell that they were human. And that fascinates me. It makes me happy to have this power within me.

But that's not me. I can't be this trip going on a power surge, my father wouldn't have approved of it. But the need, the want...

My anger, it's not the same. I can't stop. When I'm mad, I'm mad. But now, when I'm angry, I can actually feel myself crawling out of my skin and being replaced by demons around me. Then the desires kick in and I'm past the point of caring.

I'm scared, I'm not going to lie. But I can't tell anyone how I'm afraid. I don't know what's happening. For all I know, I could wake up the next morning and discover a dead body lying next to me, that I killed. Or I could not wake up at all, and find myself slipping away through the supernatural world. No one thinks of this, because no one experienced this. It's much harder for me to try and understand. Only because I have no one but myself.

Physically, as I stated before, I changed greatly. But my strength and height weren't the only changes. My eyes, they've been going crazy. Crazy like unexplaniable crazy. The doctors signed a light into my eyes the night of the wreck, only to find my pupil dialating nonstop. Small, big, small, big, small, big; almost like the beat of a heart. My hair won't stop growing. It grows so fast, I have to shave every day to keep myself looking clean.

The nights of a full moon are when the desires and cravings are the strongest. I can actually feel myself trying to force my body out into the night to find whoever or whatever lurks about. I sit at my window and stare at the full moon as my muscles move around my entire body, growing without me moving once.

I need someone here for me, but at the same time, I want everyone to stay away from me. Because I'm not the same anymore. I'm not Tyler Lockwood, the Mayor's son. I'm Tyler Lockwood, the guy not afraid to _kill_.

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im thinking about leaving this a one-shot, unless you tell me to continue.

please review!


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